Sorrow

I was in utter shock as I listened to the announcement of the sudden death of Heath Ledger. What attracted me to the actor was that he was a non conformist in the grand scheme of Hollywood glitz, glamour, and fake a$$ people. Unfortunately he was attacked and scrutinized for it.

Other actors have gone under the radar and have succeeded in avoiding the often overly critical media such as Johnny Depp. We go on with our every day lives and something tragic like this happens. It is hard to process and make sense of it. He was becoming more recognized as an actor and was a young father. There seemed to be so much hope for him......

In any case, I went downtown to pay homage to the actor. Outside his apartment there were hundreds of colorful origami cranes sprinkled on the side walk. Notes were written in different languages, cards never to be opened, letters, candles and flowers all to be later forgotten. I left a green aventurine stone, the color symbolic of healing as a peace offering. Aventurine is said to be an 'all purpose healing stone' and helps with blockages. Of the chakra colors - green represents the heart/love. It helps one 'give love and also to love and nurture ourselves.'

(from left - Mathilda, Ree, Maria, Kevin, Me and honorary member Cece)

Filipinos Gone Wild Class of 2004 Reunion

2004 was undeniably a memorable year for us. Without revealing too much about our wild nights of debauchery I will say those nights have been the glue to our friendships. I may not be close to all of them but we have a supportive and loving comradeship. Four years later who would have thought that three of the four ladies (minus CeCe who is kneeling in the picture) would be mamas.

Mathilda flew in from Chicago, which was the main reason we all found ourselves in the same space and damn it - it was worth an entire day away from Noah. Though I might add a long overdue 'me' day.

As a matter of facts earlier the same marathon day I met up with Kevin at our regular spot, Jing Fong in Chinatown for dim sum. I did not tell him that I had a special guest joining us. Minutes later a set of unfamiliar hands rested over his closed eyes. His reaction was priceless as he squealed and yelled out, 'oh my gawd - oh my gawd!' I have always enjoyed bringing an element of surprise, what can I say?! Kevin had not seen Math in 2 years give or take.

After spending a good hour and half feasting on dim sum and blabbing about our lives we continued wandering through Little Italy in the hypothermic air. We found a cafe that served cheap wine and and mouth watering deserts so we could have another sit down session.

It was a relief that I did not need to fret about being away from Noah knowing he was in good hands. Mathilda's daughter was with her Gamma so we both shared a couple, 'I wonder how my baby is doing...'

To cap off an already stupendous day we met up with the remaining members of FGW 04' - Maria and Ree. We grubbed, reminisced and were silly like it was 04'. We're gully, fierce and
hell ya we know how to roll.

Hapa Baby Palooza ---



(picture left - Maria, Noah, Corinne, Amalia, Malcolm - it aint easy photoging three rambunctious babies!)

I hosted a "mommas and toddlers" afternoon at my apartment(embarrassingly my first). The gal that babysits Noah is a film student and is of mixed race. One of her film projects has been focusing on the mixed race experience - post Vietnam War.

Now that I have Noah in my life I feel like there is so much more to consider when it comes to looking at his racial makeup. I cannot offer the cultural link of the Filipino language, perhaps some words I have picked up and hopefully what Ninong RJ will teach him. I spent my "terrible twenties" investing a lot of my time exposing myself to the Fil-Am experience, which included 3 visits to the Philippines, attending numerous conferences, becoming a youth organizer and Co-founding a website for adult Filipino adoptees.

In some respects I can relate to the hapa experience because my family is white and I struggled for many years to create a positive self identity, embrace my adoption and pride for my Filipina heritage.

One of the many things, I would like to instill in my son is pride of being Filipino, German and Italian. We do not know as much about the European American side of him but this may be an opportunity to research both his maternal and paternal grandparents lineage.

First star sighting for 08'

I was walking with a girlfriend of mine on 3rd Avenue after engorging our faces at the most superb dim sum restaurants outside of Chinatown when from afar I saw a tall man, with his signature bald spot and glasses. Need a hint, he played Goose in Top Gun, was an M.D. on ER and one of his less notable roles was in Revenge of the Nerds. Give up, Anthony Edwards! I have to admit that I am a fan of his.

He was a few yards away from me walking the opposite direction, carrying an Eli's grocery bag in one hand and balancing a box in the other. Beside him were three little girls skipping about and an older woman I can only assume was his wife. I guess I had a star struck expression because he looked back and smiled at me.

I have been known to become extremely giddy when I see an actor, ask any person who has been with me! One of my favorite sightings was Taye Diggs in the Upper West Side and Drew Barrymore in the West Village. I also saw Adrian Grenier in Brooklyn and years ago in JFK airport - Huge Grant.

Going Ga-Ga for GREEN!

My brother and his wife are pregnant and expecting in May! Noah will have a girl cousin very close to his age that he will hopefully be a good role model to --- oh gosh! For now I shall call my future niece Brulee (combination of dad and mom to be first names.)

I offered to organize my sister in law's Recycle (Eco) Baby Shower (RBS), the concept her friend told her about and was also a success. I can think back about on my baby shower last year October and was grateful for all the wonderful gifts but realize that the idea of the RBS could have saved 90% compared to buying new! You have to be smart and informed about good buys.

There are a few months before thinking about the baby shower but I could not help but research information about a Recycle Baby Shower. I can see why some moms to be would want to consider having one. I can say from experience that we received A-L-O-T of baby needs - all new and some unused. The question is what happens to everything that is unused? Many items I did not use made its way to a local thrift store and some needy people.

Planning a baby shower is no easy task especially when it is an untraditional one. I have been skimming through website after website to tailor everything around the RBS theme. From the invitation, games, party favors, cake, and decorations it all has been very educational for me. I also feel like I can tap into my creative/crafty side to make this event memorable.

My Beantown Days: Reminiscing without regrets.












Above: entrance of my old apartment where lived for almost 5 years.

To think I lived in Boston/Allston 10 years ago is mind boggling. I referred to that period of my life as the terrible 20's for a few reasons.

I found Boston to be stifling after a while and part of it was because it is a college city. I lived between Boston College and Boston University. Once you complete your four years everyone moves on and if you choose to stay you start to feel old as younger students replace the departed graduates. Quite honestly I outgrew the small city and was yearning to go to the city that never sleeps!

In retrospect being in a smaller town like Boston was the stepping stone for me when I made the decision to move to gritty/glamorous New York City a few years later. It was also the backdrop of the next 5 years as I started to embrace my identity as an adopted Filipina in America. And not to mention some of the characters I met along the way.

After doing some internet research, I quickly became immersed in Fil-Am student organizing, which sometimes felt like an unpaid job. My first year I was a member of the programming committee for the Filipino Intercollegiate Networking Dialogue (FIND) conference hosted at Harvard University. To this day the 1999 FIND spring conference continues to hold the record for the largest attendance of 1,500 delegates that traveled nationwide to take part in the most unprecedented conference.

Sometimes I felt out of place among the Fil-Ams I became friendly with. Part of it was my insecurity about my adoption, as if I had a disadvantage because I grew up 'more American.' I tried to normalize my feelings by building a collection of books about every aspect of the Philippines and absorbing as much information possible. I also became a frequent flier attending Fil-Am conferences and networking with other Fil-Ams easier made me feel more harmonious with my Filipino counterparts.
















Above: Paradise Club - I used to work here as a coat check girl......why?!
















Above: Quincy, MA - in the eyes of Pedro Magni

The other reason why I visited Boston on one of the coldest days this winter was to meet a fellow adoptee Pedro. He attended my alma mater, University of Massachusetts Boston and one of our mutual professors gave him my information. We met at one of my favorite dim sum restaurants, China Pearl in Chinatown and also drove to Quincy to get a glimpse of his Fil-Am stomping ground.

Driving through Allston into Chinatown was a quick time warp of my Beantown years. It warmed my heart to drive around and see familiar places I used to frequent though other spots have not changed i.e. The Paradise, what a dump! Although I thought of that period of my life negatively I realize it helped define who I am today.

GO REDSOX!