Biological link

Being adopted, I often think about my relation to my family. I dealt with the uncomfortable stares knowing we look nothing alike, feeling scrutinized and . My frustration stemmed from the fact that people could not see us simply as a diverse family. It has taken me years to accept that we are a blended family.

My good friend asked how I felt being Noah's Mom who is, that I know my only biological link. I had a moment of relief thinking to myself, "I am no longer alone." I will always be curious what I looked like or what my temperament was as a baby although am comforted that I can pass on my legacy that I continue to build.

According to the Chinese zodiac Noah is the Year of the Dog. Some may be skeptical but I have a fascination for the fortune telling system. Either way it is entertaining to read and determine if there are any commonalities.

Check to see what sign you are based on the year you were born!

Are you Yin or Yang, what element are you, interested in the history of Chinese zodiac? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chinese_Zodiac

http://www.c-c-c.org/chineseculture/zodiac/zodiac.html

Year of the Dog

1922, 1934, 1946, 1958, 1970, 1982, 1994, 2006

People born in the Year of the Dog possess the best traits of human nature. They have a deep sense of loyalty, are honest, and inspire other people¡¦s confidence because they know how to keep secrets. But Dog People are somewhat selfish, terribly stubborn, and eccentric. They care little for wealth, yet somehow always seem to have money. They can be cold emotionally and sometimes distant at parties. They can find fault with many things and are noted for their sharp tongues. Dog people make good leaders. They are compatible with those born in the Years of the Horse, Tiger, and Rabbit.

In 2003 I went to the Philippines on an academic summer exchange program. 30 other Filipino Americans and a Mexican American took part in the 2 month language, culture and history program at the University of the Philippines - Dilman in Quezon City.

I desperately wanted to learn Filipino and also do some self exploration. Our daily schedule consisted of language class, workshops on culture and lectures on history, economy and other subjects of interest.

Another aspect of the exchange program was to complete a research paper and I chose to write about international adoption. This allowed be to do some soul searching about my own adoption and had the surprise of my life.

The Inter Country Adoption Board (ICAB) oversees all Filipino children placed with families internationally. After a couple meetings with the director and socialworkers they arranged to have me to visit the orphanage I lived in for the first 5 years before going to the US.

We met with the director who remembered me once I showed her my Philippines passport. I look back now and realize that I was not necessarily prepared to hear anything about my time at the orphanage. This explains why I allowed them to speak in Filipino. I did record the conversation but will have to find someone to translate it.

One of the questions I did ask was the origin of my name. I believed that my biological chose my name but it turned out that the former director, a missionary from Seattle, WA had a niece named Lorelei and wanted to name the next girl of the orhapange Lorial. I was a little disappointed but realized that some of my unknown past was a fabrication of my own thoughts.

Another question I asked was what they recall about my biological mother. This led into more details about my birth. She told me that I was born during a typhoon, which explains my fascination with thunderstorms - my mom can attest to this. She also said that because of the storm they had to wait three days before they could go outside and pick me up. The roads were not paved back then and my biological mother lived further out from the airforce base. Apparently my biological mother did visit a couple times but afterwards the orphanage never heard from her again.

When I tell people I am adopted one of the questions they ask is if I want to meet my biological mother. As far back as I can remember I have always replied no because of the language barrier but especially because she made her decision and I respect it.

I will always be curious about her and how much I may look like her. If I did meet her I would assure her that my life has been absolutely wonderful. She gave me life and also gave me a chance for a better life.

Below I am pointing out a picture of myself I found along the wall of the orphanage. It was taken the day I left for Manila in September of 1980. They have kept it up all these years, which was pretty amazing. I finally felt a connection to the orphanage and has been memorialized on the board.

Babywearing Bonanza
www.babywearingbonanza.com

I came across the Babywearing Bonanza while I was doing a search for events for new parents. It was also free!

We broke the cardinal rule of baby wearing and natural parenting by walking into the event with the Baby Bjorn. Minutes into our arrival and while I was registering a woman beside me asked what was wrong with the Bjorn. We knew we were in for an ear full.

We were informed very quickly that the Bjorn was probably the worst baby carrier for a couple reasons; it does not offer enough shoulder support for the person wearing it and as the baby grows it puts too much pressure on the spine that can later cause damage.

I tried on a baby sling, which was a 10 ft long cloth. I immediately was not to keen about its design particularly because I felt like I was gift wrapping myself in heavy cloth and I was thinking about what it would be like to wear this in the summer with a 20lb baby.

Moms and Dads were wearing many different types of slings, pouches, ring slings, structured carriers and mei tais. I did walk out with a mei tai, which is modeled after Chinese wraps.

For more information go to: www.simplyslings.com

Noah chatting with Papi.


A couple days ago he just started making cooing noises while John talked to him.

Besides the fact that it is just darn adorable we know it will be helpful once he actually starts forming his first words!

The Baby Mommas Club 2007 (M's babyshower - days away from having her baby boy!!)



Backtracking to August 2004 - Ugat Immersion Trip

To think that the three of us were in the Philippines the summer of 2004 on an Ugat (Roots) Immersion trip. During our month long visit we met with organizers from various sectors such as youth, women, peasant/migrant workers and OFW. We sat in on 'situationers' about the top issues of these sectors. The major highlight was spending time with peasant/farm workers of Moltalban Rizal just outside of Manila.

Our trek to the top of the mountain was a true test of what were going to face. Our modern teva sandels and hiking boots were no match with the barefooted guides. They scaled up with large containers of water on their backs while some of us struggled carrying our own belongings. It took the nine of us more than an hour to reach the top since it had rained days before and the mud was half the challenge.

With no running water or electricity we learned quickly to adapt. We woke up to roosters as the sun rose and lit kerosine soup cans as the sun set. We witnessed how they survive by growing cassava, and collecting sacks of coal. Sadly, it is a labor intensive job with little financial satisfaction. They have to carry the sacks down the steep mountain (usually taking 45-1hr) into town and are compensated an equivalent to $1 - if that. The money is then used to buy kerosene or other small needs.

Our meals consisted of maize that was boiled down or mashed with sugar accompanied by rice they harvested. Other nights it was soup or stew flavored by a chicken or other poulty they butchered from their farm. Everything was prepared on a fire stove and the aroma was unforgetable.


Migrante Office visit 

Don't be fooled by this picture. This was merely a 3 second long achievement of Noah showing his neck strength. We have been trying to encourage him to lift his head while he is on his stomach or resting on our chest. He is only 6 weeks and every once in a while he shows us his capabilities. It is quite a feat to watch him accomplish the smallest things.

<----- Noah's first train ride. Thank gosh it is becoming easier to go places with Noah. I am even using the Baby Bjorn for quick walks. Using a stroller is no easy thing in the city. We in a four story and it is not an easy task with a growing baby. He was 9lbs to begin with and puts on a pound every couple weeks. It is a good workout but tiring as well.

Baby Year!

Now that Noah is in our lives I no longer can have my crazy nights and weekends of debauchery but I don't think I will miss them. There was a time and place and now they are memories.

With the arrival of the New Year there will be many other moments with Noah that will be even more memorable.
Noah, me, Rudy (NYE)

The picture above was taken not even a full day after he was born. To make a long story short about Noah's arrival into the co2 world; he required to go to NICU for his first three days of existence because I had a slight fever. It was a precautionary measure to make sure he would not be exposed to infections because of my fever.

The following three days he was required to stay in NICU and was rather startling for us because he was twice if not three times the size of all the babies there. Most were premature and did not even weigh 5lbs while others were recovering from some ailment.

Noah formally known as Limey was a whopping 9lbs 12oz but at no point of my pregnancy was there any indication he would be so large. After 14 hours of labor, breaking my water and hours or softening my cervix there was only 4 centimeters of dialation. I was drugged with four unsuccessful doses of epidural and other anesthesia before the doctor finally decided to perform a c-section.

I vaguely remember being prepped for the surgery room. I do recall opening my eyes at one point and seeing a number of doctors and nurses. Before making any incisions she told me I would feel some pressure before the final delivery. Thank gosh the epidural finally kicked in.

There was some pressing that I could feel and could not imagine how they pulled him out but within a few minutes I heard voices from the doctor. She asked what his name was and I turned to John. He proudly said, Noah Cruz Pasquarello.

We discussed possible names though did not have our heart set on a single one. Noah was a name John brought up and I was indifferent. I had a couple in mind but definately wanted his middle name to be Cruz. It was my surname before I was adopted and some how wanted to incorporate it seeing that his last name was going to be his father's.

I had to ask John if Noah was ok because I barely heard a cry from him. He was calm and relaxed from there on into his second week of existence.

(Noah in NICU)

Our piece of paradise for our short stay at Na Balam Resort. Just yards away from our hotel room we both got our share of 3rd degree burns.

Isla Mujeres, Mexico

Babymoon

I would highly suggest Isla Mujeres for folks who like more privacy and less resorty surroundings like their neighboring Cancun on the mainland.This was a last minute escape and most definately long overdue. We stayed at the Na Balam (The House of the Jaguar) resort www.nabalam.com that was walking distance from the ferry and center of town.

We had a wonderful view of the beach from our room and when we had breakfast outside. The menu consisted of more health conscious eatings. I especially enjoyed the fresh squeezed orange juice!

The island is not even 5 miles long so you can either rent bicycles or a golf cart, which we chose. We took full advantage of the beach and ventured around the island, stopping at the Tortuga (Turtle) farm, Hacienda Mundaca, Mayan Temple and Light house - to name a few.

http://www.isla-mujeres.net/thingstodo.htm

Sunset at Na Balam Resort
Isla Mujeres, Mexico

Photos of Sagada indigenous people

77th Street|Lexington Avenue Station

Rudyroooooooh, Rudy, RJ -

One of the many photos I have with this guy. We have a long history starting in 1999 when we met at Trinity College.

This photo was taken outside of my workplace in Harlem and was the first picture where my pregnancy just began to show. One of the projects the kids were working on was the influence of earlier rap and hip hop thus the L.L Cool J necklace and black square rimmed Run DMC glasses.

I started working as student advocate/academic advisor for juniors in high school in February. The Truce program is part of Harlem Children's Zone, which offers numerous social services and after school programs from baby to college. www.hcz.org/project/accomplishments.html

I work in a predominently African American community and many of the projects are inspired by the culture of Harlem /Af-Am through music, media and history.

This is Mia who was also adopted from the Philippines. Her family lives in my hometown and we met a few years ago through Camp Mabuhay - a culture camp for families and their children from the Philippines.

Her Mom and sister drove all the way from CT to attend the Also Know As Culture Day. www.alsoknownas.org

Culture Day was developed by AKA for internationally adopted children to learn about their birth country and other cultures. Other countries represented have been Vietnam, China, and Korea.

I joined the planning committee when I first moved to NYC and helped develop arts and crafts ideas and cuisine from the Philippines. There were not many adoptees from the Philippines but I was just as happy to share ideas of my culture.

Truce kids visit Bard College

As the Junior Advocate one of my responsibilities was to go on an over night college trip of the Hudson Valley.

Eight of my juniors visited Bard, SUNY New Paltz, and Marist. They got a glimpse of a liberal arts school, private medium sized school and a state school. Though they may not attend any of the schools I think it was important for them to see what other types of schools are available.

I would have benefited from a college trip of some sort. My college counselor was pretty useless and I ended up applying to colleges I had no shot at getting accepted to. Then again he discouraged me from applying to colleges I probably would have had a chance at. Thank gosh I was involved with sports.

GO LADY BISHOPS

One of the first people that I told about my pregnancy was my very good friend RB. We have known each other for over a decade now.

She was in CA at the time and I did not make a final decision immediately though probably could say now that I knew I was going to follow through with the pregnancy.

I did need ponder about the timing of the pregnancy, finances and of course whether the baby daddy was in agreement to have the baby.

RB was planning to head back to the East and asked if I wanted to join her in AZ to drive cross country. We did drive in a record three days because RB had a rehersal to go to and because she is a veteran at driving long distances in little time. She insisted on driving the entire way and I did not object.

The picture above was taken at a rest stop in AZ.

We talked alot about motherhood, friendship and where we saw ourselves in the coming years. The road trip was exactly what I needed to clear my mind and share ALOT of laughs with RB. I hope she knows how much she means to me.......